Chapter Ninety-Eight: Beware of Malicious People

There’s a saying that when a person hits rock bottom, they’ll boast about how brilliant and mighty they once were. When Iron Crutch Liu heard Ghost-Faced Zhang wouldn’t let him jump between past and present, he felt a bit displeased inside and wore a gloomy expression on his face. Yet, he was deeply wary of Ghost-Faced Zhang, knowing that resisting him over such a trivial matter would bring no good outcome. So, he waved his hand and said, “Third Brother, since you’ve said so, I won’t say much more. The coffins are right here before us. What do you think we should do now? We can’t just leave them unopened like unsellable books, right?”

This was clearly an incitement, and Ghost-Faced Zhang understood perfectly well. Iron Crutch Liu dared not openly oppose him, opting instead for a covert jab. If he backed down and let the other take the lead, he wouldn’t be able to stop it. But he wasn’t entirely confident these three coffins could be handled. After pondering for a long time, he came up with an idea and glanced sideways at Dragon Lord. “Old Seven Sha, what do you make of these coffins?”

Dragon Lord hadn’t expected Ghost-Faced Zhang to shift this problem onto him. He put on a pretentious frown and examined the three coffins. “Third Brother, I share your view. These three ‘Tiger-Head Coffins’ are undoubtedly ‘Xuanwu Heads,’ but I don’t think they’re the true dragon.”

Hearing this, my mind was thrown into confusion again. What nonsense was this? Tiger-Head Coffins, Xuanwu Heads, and whether or not it was a true dragon—these bandits had started speaking in their own secret jargon again. I looked over at my old lover and asked, “Hey, what are they talking about? Tiger-head, Xuanwu head, true dragon—what does it all mean?”

She smiled and replied, “You don’t even know this? I thought your master would have told you.” Then she explained the meanings of these insider terms.

A Tiger-Head Coffin refers to coffins that pose a high risk once opened. The famous “Whistle Coffin” mentioned in the ‘DMBJ’ is a type of Tiger-Head Coffin, but it’s a ‘Hidden Tiger-Head.’ The three coffins before us are clearly the tomb’s guardian mechanisms.

Earlier, during the “Three Warring States Granaries” incident, Xiao Shao mentioned the concept of a “Yin-Accumulating Ground,” where the souls of the dead cannot leave, hence the name. Beyond Yin-Accumulating Grounds, there’s another method to keep a soul tethered to its body—using talismans to seal the spirit within the coffin, like the Thai black magic practices of raising little ghosts and Kuman Thong. The Xuanwu Head refers to sealing a vengeful spirit within the corpse, turning it into a “living dead,” but the Xuanwu Head is far more powerful in combat than the “living corpse” or “medicine man” mentioned earlier. Encountering a Xuanwu Head in a tomb is truly a misfortune.

The True Dragon is the coffin housing the actual tomb owner, the so-called “dragon’s lair” in geomancy, where the tomb’s feng shui is perfect, harboring wind and gathering energy. The ancients believed the quality of the burial site affected future generations; being buried in the dragon’s lair ensured prosperity for descendants. Conversely, if the tomb rested on a highly inauspicious site—such as a Yin-Accumulating Ground or a corpse-raising ground—descendants would suffer misfortune and calamity. Hence, the true tomb owner would never be interred in a Tiger-Head Coffin or a Xuanwu Head.

“I know all that! I’m asking how we should deal with these coffins,” Ghost-Faced Zhang said sharply after Dragon Lord’s analysis, glaring. “I mean, what’s the next move?”

Dragon Lord smiled bitterly. “How would I know? In this team, all decisions are yours, Third Brother.”

The ball kept being kicked back and forth with no solution for opening the coffins. Overall, these old fellows still wanted Ghost-Faced Zhang to lead the charge, showing no concern for how badly he’d been hurt earlier. Indeed, old foxes are cunning; old rabbits are hard to catch. But Zhang understood too—he was pretending to be clueless. No matter how much the elders mocked or flattered him, he remained unmoved. After all, none dared to challenge him physically.

This stalemate dragged on for over half an hour, with no plan or decision on opening the coffins. The three kept passing the buck; no one wanted to make the first move. I cursed silently—this broken team had no one who could speak decisively. They were just a loose collection of sand. If only there were someone here who could make a firm decision and act on it, we wouldn’t be stuck in this muddle. Iron Crutch Liu had been talking about probing the coffins with his single crutch, dithering about this and that. Just open these three coffins already! Dragon Lord wasn’t any better, muddying the waters for no reason. It was just a waste of breath.

Just then, the kaleidoscope, sitting on the ground, suddenly stood up. “Enough, enough. Didn’t the cripple just say he’d probe the three coffins with his single crutch? Why waste time with these pointless arguments? Just listen to me—let the cripple go.”

Iron Crutch Liu immediately bristled. “You little punk, are you trying to get me killed?”

Kaleidoscope looked at him, grinning with mockery. “Hey, didn’t you say it yourself? You’d single-crutch probe the three coffins. Why backpedal now? Back in Yunnan, Elder Liu, you single-crutch probed the ‘Five Vessel Soul-Attracting Coffins.’ How come you’re losing your nerve at the crucial moment? Oh... looks like you’re all bark and no bite. I’ve truly learned my lesson, learned it well.” He chuckled twice and fell silent.

Iron Crutch Liu knew this was a provocation, but couldn’t hold back his anger. After long thought, he sneered coldly, “Since you all insist, then fine. I, Elder Liu, will show you the supreme art of probing coffins with a single crutch. Watch closely.” Drawing his pair of crutches, he dashed toward the three coffins.

I thought to myself, it’s better to offend a gentleman than a scoundrel. Kaleidoscope was truly a venomous, scheming fiend, full of dark malice. It really proved the saying: “The more knowledge, the more reactionary.” A learned rogue was far more dangerous than an uneducated one. I glanced at Kaleidoscope, whose face held a faint but unmistakable smirk, as if he’d just avenged a murdered father. Without careful observation, you wouldn’t notice it. I cursed silently—such people must be watched closely.

No one stopped Iron Crutch Liu, which put him in a tight spot. He had assumed his righteous indignation and a few words would prompt Ghost-Faced Zhang to intervene and help him save face. But seeing Ghost-Faced Zhang nearly choking with anger, he watched Zhang light a cigarette and sit down, calmly smoking as if they had nothing to do with him. Now Liu had no way out—if he advanced, he risked his life; if he retreated, Kaleidoscope would tear him to pieces.

He stomped his foot. “Third Brother, stop pretending. I’ll open the coffins, but on one condition. If I lose my life, so be it. But if I survive, I get first pick of the funerary artifacts here.”

After saying this, Ghost-Faced Zhang pondered for a long time, smoking down his cigarette butt. Fifteen minutes later, he stubbed it out and said, “Fine. If you come back alive, I’ll give you two picks.”

“Third Brother, that’s fair!” Iron Crutch Liu laughed twice, twirling his crutches before running toward the three coffins.

“What does ‘one pick’ mean?” I whispered.

My old lover smiled. “One pick means the first item among the funerary artifacts unearthed from this tomb—the first piece chosen. Now that Ghost-Faced Zhang promised two picks, that means Iron Crutch Liu gets priority on the first and second items.”