Chapter One: The Birth of the Little Rascal
The fifth year of the Zhenguan era of the Great Tang.
Chang’an.
The Lijing Palace.
As always, Empress Zhangsun awoke, washed, and went to the adjacent chamber to see her son. More precisely, her and Li Shimin's third son.
Li Zhi.
Also known as the Ninth Prince.
Because there were other children from imperial consorts, by the time they counted to him, he was the ninth.
“Zhi’er, Mother is here to see you!” She tiptoed into the side chamber, afraid to wake Li Zhi.
“Greetings, Your Majesty...” An elderly nursemaid appeared.
“Where is Zhi’er?”
“Your Majesty, the little prince is asleep inside.”
“Hurry, take me to him!”
Having not seen him for just one night, Empress Zhangsun missed him dearly. She entered the room for a look—only to find the bed empty. Her heart clenched in panic. “Where is Zhi’er? Where is my Zhi’er?”
At that very moment—
The three-year-old Li Zhi, with the air of a little adult, swaggered down the palace corridor. He quickly left Lijing Palace, heading straight for the Palace of Sweet Dew.
That was where Li Shimin slept.
“Ding! The Mischievous Child System solemnly reminds the Host: you must remove ten glazed tiles from the Sweet Dew Palace within one hour. Half an hour has already passed. Failure to complete the mission will result in severe punishment!”
“I got it, I got it... Why are you so nagging?”
Li Zhi searched everywhere, his heart pounding with anxiety.
A few days prior, he had been an executive at a Fortune 500 company. In the blink of an eye, he was reborn in the Tang dynasty as Li Shimin’s ninth son—Li Zhi, the future Emperor Gaozong of Tang!
Along with him came the ultimate Mischievous Child System.
Li Zhi was utterly bewildered...
This system was nothing but trouble—it actually wanted him to climb onto the roof of the Sweet Dew Palace and remove the tiles! That was where Li Shimin and his consorts slept. Causing mischief there was no different from poking a tiger in the eye.
“Who’s up ahead?”
“Oh, it’s the little prince! Why are you out here alone?” As Li Zhi walked along, a short, stout man with a cheerful face hurried over from behind.
Li Zhi recognized him instantly.
This was the infamous troublemaker who would be known through the ages—Cheng Yaojin!
Clearing his throat, Li Zhi grinned and said, “Uncle Cheng, I want to go to the Sweet Dew Palace to see Father. Could you take me there?”
“Of course!” Cheng Yaojin agreed without a second thought.
He assumed Li Zhi was lost.
Taking Li Zhi to the Sweet Dew Palace and handing him over to Li Shimin would also prevent any mishaps.
Yet...
He would never have imagined that this three-year-old Li Zhi had, without his realizing, set a trap for him—just waiting for him to fall in.
With Cheng Yaojin leading the way, the patrolling and sentry soldiers all let them pass. The two made their way unimpeded to the Sweet Dew Palace.
“Little prince, that up ahead is the Sweet Dew Palace, let’s—”
“Ow, my stomach hurts!” Suddenly, Li Zhi clutched his belly and asked, “Uncle Cheng, where’s the privy? I need to go!”
“There’s no privy in the palace!”
“Then I’ll go behind and relieve myself. Wait here for me, and afterward we’ll see Father together!” With that, Li Zhi darted away.
Cheng Yaojin wanted to follow, but was refused.
Behind the Sweet Dew Palace, Li Zhi climbed a tree. Though small and not at all suited for climbing, his indomitable will and persistence saw him to the rooftop.
No time to lose, he pulled a dagger from his sleeve!
He pried up the glazed tiles with effort, kicking them aside.
Crack, crack...
One by one, the tiles were removed.
In the stillness of dawn, the crisp sound was piercingly loud!
Li Shimin, having just dressed in his dragon robe and preparing to attend court at the Hall of Supreme Harmony, suddenly heard a commotion above. His keen instincts flared—he shouted, “Guards! There’s an intruder on the roof!”
Two squads of Imperial Guards rushed to the scene.
Cheng Yaojin appeared outside the Sweet Dew Palace, “Your Majesty—”
“Lord Cheng, you’re just in time! I just heard a disturbance on the roof. Go up and take a look!”
“By your command!”
Worthy of a veteran general, Cheng Yaojin used the stone lion in front of the hall to leap easily onto the roof, sword drawn. “Bold intruder, surrender or—eh?!”
He stared, nearly fainting.
Li Zhi was there, dagger in hand, prying up the palace tiles!
What was this?
Removing tiles from the roof?
And of the Sweet Dew Palace, no less—did he have a death wish?
“Lord Cheng, what do you see?”
“I see...” Cheng Yaojin started to report back.
But Li Zhi grinned and called out, “Uncle Cheng, I did everything you told me to do. Now I can’t get down—could you come help me?”
“What?”
Cheng Yaojin’s eyes bulged as he stared at Li Zhi. “Little prince, you mustn’t say such things. When did this old minister ever—”
“Hehe... Don’t worry, Uncle Cheng, I won’t tell Father! But I’m a good child, I never lie to Father. If he asks, I can’t lie to him either!”
Cheng Yaojin realized he’d been tricked.
He had brought Li Zhi here, and the Imperial Guards had seen them on the way. If this were investigated, he wouldn’t escape blame. More importantly, who would believe a three-year-old climbed onto the roof alone to cause mischief? There had to be someone behind it—and he was the prime suspect!
Suppressing his anger, Cheng Yaojin raised his hand and said, “Little prince, you are something else! In all my years, I’ve been the one playing tricks on others—never has anyone tricked me!”
“Enough. Hurry and get me down—I can’t hold on much longer...” Li Zhi had pried a huge hole in the roof, completing the system’s task, but suddenly realized that climbing up was easy, getting down not so much.
He dared not move.
Any shift of his feet risked falling.
“Lord Cheng, why aren’t you answering—what’s up there?” Li Shimin called out.
Boom! Boom!
Suddenly, two thunderous crashes made everyone jump.
Cheng Yaojin was startled too. Recovering, he shouted, “Not good! Someone—quick, the little prince has fallen from the roof! Hurry, save the prince!”
“Aaaah...!”
Inside the Sweet Dew Palace, a heart-wrenching scream rang out.
Everyone rushed in.
There they saw Li Zhi sprawled out on the dragon bed, pinning a half-naked woman beneath him. The force of his fall had left her nearly unconscious.
The palace maids were frantic, but dared not approach.
“Zhi’er?”
“You!”
“How did you get here?” Li Shimin was utterly bewildered, his mind unable to process the scene.
Li Zhi rubbed his eyes. Seeing Li Shimin, his heart skipped a beat. “At a time like this, shouldn’t I be crying? Not crying would be strange!”
He thought so, but his eyes stubbornly refused to produce tears.
Cheng Yaojin hurriedly reported, “Your Majesty, I was on the roof and saw the little prince. I was about to rescue him when he fell!”
“Zhi’er, are you all right?” Li Shimin rushed over, gathering Li Zhi in his arms, checking for injuries.
“Father, your son is a man—such minor injuries are nothing! But the lady on the bed may be hurt. I landed right on her when I fell!”
“I didn’t do it on purpose, it was Uncle Cheng who—”
“Ahem!” Cheng Yaojin coughed violently. “Little prince, are you in pain? Should I call for the imperial physician?”
He cursed inwardly, “You little rascal, you really are trying to frame me!”