Chapter Thirty-Five: Why Is She Allowed to Climb but I Am Not?

Luo Yu watched as Yue Wanqing hurriedly left, and after giving Feng Xiaoli a respectful bow, she too rushed off to find her own mistress. Jin Ning, observing the scene, widened her eyes in surprise and muttered, “Miss Wanqing truly has boundless energy. She insists on coming to Miss’s room in the middle of the night looking for someone else. I couldn’t stop her at all!”

Feng Xiaoli paid little mind. With Yue Wanqing’s temperament, nothing could stand in her way once she set her mind on something.

If Jin Ning could have stopped her, that would truly have been a marvel.

“I’m weary too, Jin Ning. You may leave now; no need to attend to me further.”

Seeing Feng Xiaoli’s tired expression, Jin Ning extinguished the lamp on the table, quietly closed the door, and tiptoed back to her own room.

Feng Xiaoli had already been sleeping restlessly, and after Yue Wanqing’s disturbance, she was thoroughly exhausted. Soon, her steady breathing filled the room.

From the shadows, Zi Lin watched Feng Xiaoli’s peaceful sleeping face, unable to resist approaching to examine her features more closely. He thought of how, whenever she saw him, she would either curse or strike him, and felt a pang of sorrow. When would she treat him as gently as other women did, with soft words and tender care?

But he knew himself well—if Feng Xiaoli ever truly treated him with gentle affection, he’d surely find it unbearable.

He reached out, touching her sleeping face, growing increasingly reluctant to let go. In a burst of joy, he kicked off his shoes and climbed onto her bed, wrapping Feng Xiaoli in his arms. Yet he did not expect that, the moment he embraced her, Feng Xiaoli’s eyes snapped open and she delivered a swift kick to his groin.

Zi Lin hadn’t anticipated her waking so quickly. He rolled across the floor several times before coming to a halt, his alluring eyes clouded with tears. Feng Xiaoli sat up in one fluid motion, glaring down at him with undisguised contempt.

“Daring to crawl into my bed—you truly have no regard for your own life!” Her icy words shot straight at Zi Lin.

“You, you, you!” Zi Lin clutched himself with one hand and pointed at her with the other. “Wasn’t it Yue Wanqing who climbed into your bed just now? Why can she do it but I can’t?”

He dared to spy on them from the shadows?

Truly, he had no sense of self-preservation. Did she invite him to spy on her?

Feng Xiaoli’s expression remained indifferent and slightly drowsy, her eyes half-closed, especially in the absence of any light.

“Li’er, has anyone ever told you you’re adorable?” Zi Lin lay prone on the floor, supporting his chin on his hands, no longer shielding himself, exuding a peculiar laziness.

This laziness seemed contagious, and Feng Xiaoli yawned repeatedly, agreeing, “Many people have said I’m adorable.”

“So, Ah Li, will you let me climb into your bed?” Zi Lin stood up and tiptoed toward Feng Xiaoli’s large bed. She raised her foot, and Zi Lin instinctively shielded himself. Seeing this, Feng Xiaoli suddenly lost her urge to kick him, squinting sleepily at him.

She shook her head. “If you simply like my bed, I’ll let you sleep here—on the condition that you don’t disturb me. I’ll go sleep in the side room. If you need anything, do as you please.”

She stood up and staggered toward the door. Zi Lin’s lips curled into a bitter smile, unseen by Feng Xiaoli.

“I can’t sleep without Li’er by my side!” Ignoring her protest, he embraced her. The sudden hug left Feng Xiaoli momentarily defenseless. With a swift move, Zi Lin had them both lying on the bed.

This time, Feng Xiaoli did not lose her temper.

For the first time, she lay quietly in Zi Lin’s arms.

Zi Lin found it odd; he had braced himself for another swift kick from Feng Xiaoli, waiting for the inevitable moment. Yet instead, she did not push him away as usual, and he felt, for a fleeting instant, as if she were embracing him.

Feng Xiaoli lay inside, Zi Lin on the outside. He held her for a very long time, never changing his posture.

Zi Lin believed Feng Xiaoli had fallen asleep, but in truth, she only kept her eyes slightly open. No matter how tired she was, she refused to sleep. As long as Zi Lin was near, she would not sleep, clinging stubbornly to this conviction, staying awake until Zi Lin sensed her intent.

“Li’er, why aren’t you sleeping?” Even knowing her thoughts, Zi Lin couldn’t help but ask, hoping for a different answer.

A long silence passed with no response from Feng Xiaoli. Zi Lin assumed she would not reply and did not press further, but then Feng Xiaoli spoke, her voice barely audible, “Zi Lin, don’t be so good to me. Here, I can trust no one—not even myself. All I can do is make choices to preserve myself, keeping my eyes open until no one can harm me, before I can finally close them and sleep for a while. I know it’s neurotic, but I can’t change who I am.”

Zi Lin listened to her soft voice and tightened his embrace.

“I don’t want to hurt anyone, but that doesn’t mean others won’t hurt me. I only wish to take a step back and find freedom, but others press so close I end up doing things I never wanted to do, forcing myself to be ruthless. But I’m truly exhausted.”

Zi Lin didn’t fully understand what Feng Xiaoli was saying, but he could see and hear her pain. She seemed to be suffering deeply these days. His eyes tightened, and once more he pulled her closer, feeling that only by doing so could she find peace and finally sleep.

But her words continued: “Zi Lin, no matter your reasons for approaching me, I just want to say, let everything end here. If you don’t bother me, I won’t bother you.”

She met Zi Lin’s gaze. “So, let’s stop here.”

—Extra—

Let’s push the collection up to seventy! Haha!