0023 Dog-Pissing Pancake

"Oh dear, oh dear!"

The kitchen was thick with black smoke. A-Zi spun around in a panic, clearly at her wits' end. As soon as Jiang Mingzhe entered, the acrid smell of burnt oil nearly knocked him over. Covering his nose and mouth, he saw a greasy iron plate on the stove, with a large, charred mass sitting on it, billowing thick smoke.

Had she burnt the oil cakes?

The kitchen backed onto the courtyard. Jiang Mingzhe quickly pushed open the window and door, used a wooden spatula to flick the burnt pancake out into the yard, moved the iron plate away from the heat, and grabbed a fire fan to beat the air furiously, driving the black smoke out through the window and door.

Seeing how agile he was, and then looking at her own helpless state, A-Zi felt embarrassed and immediately shifted the blame: "It's all your fault! If I hadn't been in such a hurry to save you, I would never have burnt them."

"Yes, yes, of course. My senior sister is so concerned for me; I am truly flattered."

Jiang Mingzhe quickly accepted the favor. A-Zi finally smiled: "Hmph, at least you're sensible."

She pointed to several sticky, damp lumps of dough on the wooden counter. "Luckily I prepared plenty, enough for us both. Hmph, my 'dog-pissing' cakes are delicious."

"Dog-pissing" cakes. When Jiang Mingzhe first arrived in the northwest with the research delegation, this was his first meal. In reality, they were just oil-fried flatbreads, made from either wheat or highland barley flour.

In a modern recipe, one would mix flour with baking soda, vegetable oil, and sugar, slowly add boiling water while stirring, knead it into a dough, roll it out, brush it with oil, sprinkle it with bean powder, roll it into a long strip, cut it into portions, and then flatten them into round cakes. They would be fried in a hot, oiled pan, with oil drizzled over them and flipped repeatedly. Because the people of the northwest often used oil pots, and the stoves were high, the women would tilt their bodies to pour the oil, a motion resembling a dog urinating, which gave the dish its rather unrefined name.

Jiang Mingzhe had helped his parents cook since he was a child. After growing up and living alone, he would often cook for himself in his spare time. He considered himself an unofficial disciple of various famous online chefs. While his culinary skills couldn't rival a professional, they were far superior to A-Zi's.

Seeing the state of the dough, he immediately spotted the problems. He rolled up his sleeves and said, "Senior sister, you were kind enough to save me; how could I let you do all the work? Let me wash my hands, and you can just wait to eat."

A-Zi said delightedly, "That's right! You said you knew how to cook. Can you even make these cakes?"

It seemed that in this little girl's mind, cooking and making flatbreads were two different things.

Jiang Mingzhe nodded. A-Zi trotted over to the water vat, grabbed a ladle, filled it, and slowly poured it over his hands.

Jiang Mingzhe’s hands—which had first crushed a ghost-faced spider and then shredded the flesh of Ming Zhuzi—required five washings before he felt they were reasonably clean.

He had A-Zi fetch more flour. He stacked the sticky dough together, sprinkled it with flour, and began to knead. After a short while, he had a smooth, supple dough, which he rolled out into a large, thin sheet.

A-Zi didn't have bean powder, so Jiang Mingzhe chopped some scallions, mixed them with vegetable oil and salt, spread it evenly over the dough, rolled it up, cut it into portions, and flattened them. Soon, he had made ten saucer-sized pancakes.

By then, the iron plate had cooled. Jiang Mingzhe took it to the back courtyard, scrubbed off the char with a bamboo brush, rinsed it clean, and brought it back to the stove.

Seeing a man working in the kitchen so methodically, even more efficiently than Zhui Fengzi, A-Zi felt a mix of admiration and joy. She couldn't help but think: *Master often makes me help in the dining hall, saying I don't know how to do "women's work" and will never get married. Hmph, look at how capable Big Ginger is. It seems these chores are better handled by men after all. Sigh, but I fear there are few men in this world willing to work like Big Ginger.*

But then she thought, *not necessarily! Third Senior Brother Zhui Fengzi can do it too!*

As soon as that thought crossed her mind, A-Zi curled her lip and shook her head. Even if he could, he was too fat and ugly.

The fire in the stove hadn't gone out yet. Jiang Mingzhe placed the iron plate back on the stove. When it was hot, he picked up the small oil pot with its curved spout, drizzled some oil, spread it with the spatula, and began to fry the cakes, adding oil and flipping them repeatedly. After a few turns, the cakes turned a golden yellow, and the aroma was mouth-watering.

A-Zi couldn't help but take a deep breath and cheered, "Your dog-pissing cakes smell so good!"

Jiang Mingzhe grabbed a plate, piled the fragrant cakes onto it, and set it on the table: "Senior sister, eat first. I'll fry the rest."

A-Zi hopped over and sat down. Just as she was about to start, she paused, stood up, and went back to Jiang Mingzhe's side: "Hmph, you aren't a servant chef. I'll wait until you're done, and we'll eat together."

Jiang Mingzhe said offhandedly, "The cakes won't be good if they get cold."

To his surprise, A-Zi was stubborn: "Even if they're not good, I'll wait to eat with you."

Jiang Mingzhe's heart stirred, and he couldn't help but turn to look at her.

A-Zi's cheeks flushed red immediately. Realizing her words sounded overly intimate, she quickly tried to mend it: "I... I... I mean, I don't like eating alone. I like everyone eating together."

Jiang Mingzhe’s gaze swept over the chopstick holder, which contained only a single pair of chopsticks.

He sighed softly and said nothing more, simply speeding up his movements.

In less than the time it takes to burn an incense stick, the ten cakes were done. The two sat opposite each other, each using one chopstick to pick up the cakes. One for her, one for him, they ate with great relish.

It was A-Zi's first time eating scallion-oil-and-salt cakes. She praised them between bites, her mind racing with thoughts on how to make Jiang Mingzhe cook every meal.

Jiang Mingzhe was full after four cakes. He drank some hot water and said, "Senior sister, I have a question to ask. Last night while I was practicing internal energy..."

Before he could finish his question, A-Zi’s ears pricked up, and she snapped, "Who dares to trespass in my home!"

She dropped her half-eaten cake and leapt up, drifting out the window like a purple cloud.

Before Jiang Mingzhe could react, he heard A-Zi let out a gasp of surprise. He strode into the courtyard and saw A-Zi staring at the wall, pointing and crying out with delight: "Poison Monkey! Poison Monkey!"

The sky had already grown dim, but there was still some residual twilight. Jiang Mingzhe looked in the direction she was pointing and saw a tiny monkey squatting on the wall, barely larger than an adult man's fist.

The monkey’s fur was a mix of grey, white, and brownish-yellow. It had huge eyes, staring intently at A-Zi and Jiang Mingzhe. The fur around its eyes was dark, making it look like a miniature panda—quite cute and dull-witted. It had no tail and was clutching the charred pancake Jiang Mingzhe had tossed out the window.

*Is this... a slow loris?*

Jiang Mingzhe identified it after a moment. He was puzzled; he remembered these strange little primates as being native to tropical and subtropical regions, found in China only in the Yunnan and Guangxi areas. How did it end up in the Starry Sea?

The Starry Sea was located within Tibet, in what would later be Qinghai Province, which was clearly not a suitable environment for a slow loris.

"You recognize this monkey?" Jiang Mingzhe asked. A-Zi had called it a "poison monkey," so it couldn't have been a random name.

A-Zi nodded repeatedly: "Yes, yes, this is a poison monkey. Don't let its silly look fool you; it's riddled with poison. Master said it has poisonous flesh in its armpits. If it licks the poison and then bites you, you're dead."

She looked around, took on a sly expression, stood on her tiptoes, and leaned into Jiang Mingzhe's ear: "This poison monkey was stolen by Master from the Miao people. Its poison isn't natural; it comes from eating too many centipedes and scorpions. To make itself even more toxic, it hunts down the most poisonous scorpions and centipedes. No matter how fierce the insect, once it sees the poison monkey, it just waits to die. Master specifically brought it back so the monkey could catch lethal venomous insects for him..."

Jiang Mingzhe’s expression shifted as he suddenly understood why A-Zi was whispering.

He said in a low voice, "I see. Master accidentally let this monkey escape, and now you want to catch it so it can catch insects for you, instead of returning it to him."

A-Zi snapped her head up to look at Jiang Mingzhe. After a moment, she asked, "Then... will you report me to Master?"

Jiang Mingzhe looked down. A-Zi was staring at him fiercely, but the fierceness wasn't firm. Her eyelashes trembled slightly, revealing anxiety, fear, and a glimmer of hope.

He didn't answer directly. After a moment of silent deliberation, he said slowly, "Senior sister, there is a saying: 'The ignorant are not guilty.' I will take care of this monkey, and if it catches any poison, I'll give it to you. If Master discovers it, I'll just say I didn't know it was his. At worst, I'll just return it. Master shouldn't punish me for that."

"Wow! That's a great idea!"

A-Zi's eyes lit up instantly. She instinctively grabbed Jiang Mingzhe's sleeve and shook it: "Big Ginger, you're so smart! But—"

She looked back at the little monkey on the wall, troubled. "This poison monkey is covered in venom, and it climbed so high. How are we supposed to catch it?"