Chapter Forty-Nine: I’m About to Start Washing Now

The game clock ticked to the twelfth minute. Under the petty pressure of Chu Yuxuan, the bottom lane's outer turret finally fell, and the duo rotated to the middle lane to continue pushing.

Uzi habitually lost his head the moment he gained an advantage. Seeing the enemy dare to farm, his competitive spirit flared up, and he tried to step forward to poke them.

As a result, he once again ran straight into his destined nemesis, Chu Yuxuan.

"Little Puppy, run!"

"No need, I can outplay this."

With his ultimate activated, Uzi tumbled twice on the ground, and after operating for all of two seconds, he was completely dead in the dirt.

Lin Ruo, arriving late from backing and walking back, groaned internally.

I haven't even started trolling yet, why did you kick off the funeral first?

Because of this little stunt, the haters in the stream's chat once again collectively achieved inner peace and satisfaction.

[You don't even need to watch the teamfight, given an advantage Uzis will always int on their own.]

[That Vi is definitely intentionally targeting Uzi, it's so disgusting, seeing that he's easy prey she just chases him across the map.]

[Stop locking him down, Uzi's head is about to be caved in.]

[Don't panic, once Uzi hits his three-item spike, the enemy team wins.]

"To be honest, this Chu Yuxuan is seriously disgusting. Has she ever used her ultimate on any other lane even once?" Uzi couldn't hold it in anymore and started a merciless rant.

"Warning, warning."

Lin Ruo loudly quoted Rumble's voice lines and quickly began verbal cooling-down maneuvers, "Steady, Puppy. The haters are sniffing the air and getting ready to stir up trouble again."

"My execution there was flawless, okay? What can you do when someone hard-locks you?" Uzi stubbornly tossed out a final, stubborn excuse out of sheer habit.

Yes, flawless—flawed all the way into a massive pile of crap.

If you had just flashed a bit earlier, I might have actually been able to toss a lantern to pull you out.

Lin Ruo muttered inwardly as he planted a control ward over the wall in the river to fish, and the foolish Alistar promptly took the bait.

"If we want to win this game, we still have to rely on me."

He flung his hook, just about to cleanly hit the target, when unexpectedly, the dumb cow not only turned around to dodge it in style, but also banged its bell a few times to taunt him.

Lin Ruo toggled on his Oracle's Lens and realized a stealth ward had been sitting right under his feet.

Faking a cough, Lin Ruo offered a defense: "Let's grant the Minotaur a way out, shall we? It's not that I didn't want to hook him, it's just that this cow is too virtuous. He has toiled hard, plowing the fields to serve the people for half his life, only to be hooked and made into beef at the end? That's simply too cruel. As a kind-hearted person, I just can't bring myself to do it."

Not even twenty seconds after those words left his mouth, coordinating with his teammates to pressure the middle lane turret, he threw another hook, successfully catching the Alistar and winning a teamfight with zero deaths for two kills.

Lin Ruo changed his tune faster than flipping a book: "No way, did I actually give this stupid cow a pass? What gives you the right to walk up with such a cocky swagger? I called you virtuous and you actually started getting a big head."

The chat was instantly rendered speechless.

The atmosphere of a collective dog-pile on Uzi shifted slightly.

"How on earth can someone switch facial expressions and stances so effortlessly?"

"Why is the streamer's mouth even harder than Uzi's? If you suck, practice more, don't practice your mouth."

"When you have an advantage, you brag with your mouth; when you're behind, you wash yourself clean with your mouth."

"This right here is helping Uzi draw fire, alright? Representing all GSLs, I officially recognize you as a true die-hard fan."

"I'm not hooking this Dog (Nasus) either. Dogs are humanity's most loyal friends, they understand human nature. Absolutely cannot hook them."

Having missed a hook in the top lane, Lin Ruo rehabilitated his image in mere minutes.

Leaving the chat filled with question marks.

"This play wasn't my fault for not throwing the hook. My teammates' damage was through the roof with the advantage, throwing a hook would've just stolen the kills."

"Someone died in this play, but we're behind so I shouldn't throw the hook. Even if I hooked him, we couldn't win the fight."

After a series of plays, whenever a mistake happened, Lin Ruo initiated a comprehensive, multi-dimensional, dead-angle-free defense.

In the narrow minds of the haters, Uzi's figure gradually faded away.

They were all just looking for flaws and mistakes to see how Lin Ruo would wash himself clean this time.

Stripped of his protagonist halo, Uzi's face stopped turning red, his anger dissipated, and he chose to turn his headset volume down just a notch lower.

He had never encountered such a talent who could talk so much trash; did he feel uncomfortable if he stayed quiet for even a single second?

At the 21-minute mark, operating Thresh in the middle lane, he flashed to predict the Corki's W landing spot, threw the hook to initiate a teamfight, and secured a resounding victory of zero trades for three kills. The red side seized the opportunity to take Baron.

Lin Ruo's mouth curved wildly upward, forming an arc harder to suppress than an assault rifle: "See that? I can make countless mistakes, but the enemy only needs to make one mistake. This right here is called 'showing oneself as weak.' Surely there aren't still haters out there who genuinely think my Thresh play is trash? Actually, all the previous mistakes were just setting the board for this moment."

"Playing games requires brains. I'm just that kind of person, can't help it. Who forced someone named Lin to read the *Spring and Autumn Annals*?"

[Hahaha, I'm dying of laughter. This streamer actually has so much content in him, how does every single sentence manage to crack me up?]

[Are the trash-talking excuses in your mouth an endless, inexhaustible supply?]

[If your trash-talking was as good as your favorite team's match record... sorry, wrong channel.]

[Feeling a bit jealous of the streamer's gift for being terrible at the game, what should I do?]

[Streamer, say something else. If you don't talk, my whole body feels uncomfortable.]

[Why even play professionally? Retire early and become a streamer, don't waste your talent.]

"Shut up, haters. I'm about to make a play."

At the 27th minute of the game, the red side pushed into the high ground.

Lin Ruo originally wanted to show off his skill accuracy, but he hooked in way too early, caused a disconnect from his team, and blew up on the spot.

The situation instantly turned into a four-versus-five, and the disadvantaged blue side began to counterattack.

Lin Ruo licked the corner of his mouth, thinking to himself that things looked bad—this mistake was way too obvious to spin away.

Watching Vayne's panicked tumbling figure rolling across the screen, Lin Ruo's eyes lit up.

Uzi, my boy, I've shouldered the fire for you the entire game, it's only right that you shoulder the blame for these few dozen seconds, right?

Taking a deep breath, Lin Ruo opened his mouth. Without any wind-up animation, he began rapid-fire incantations, directly transforming into a battlefield war correspondent:

"Thresh falls in battle first, the situation looks extremely grim! Uzi activates his stealth ability, tumbling backwards to retreat! The foolish Alistar attempts a Flash-W-Q combo to gobble up the little fatty in one bite! The mercenary Jarvan IV interrupts with E-Q! Uzi tumbles out of the damage range, preparing to fall back! But Kassadin is on the move! Uzi refuses to be a coward! Uzi steps up! Uzi is dishing out damage! Uzi intends to chase down Caitlyn and poke her—holy crap, Caitlyn's range is too long, Uzi is getting kited to numbness! Half-health Uzi changes targets, trying to bully the soft persimmon Corki, but ends up realizing he's the soft persimmon! Corki turns around, drops a W right on Uzi's face, and instantly flattens him!"

"Uzi has fallen! And once again, Uzi failed to use his Flash! But it doesn't matter, Uzi's death was meaningful—he successfully applied pressure to his teammates, igniting Kassadin's determination to single-handedly carry a desperate situation! Kassadin accidentally kills everyone, the game is over, we are the champions!"

"Uh, sorry, wrong channel. Thought it was the Worlds finals for a second."

Lin Ruo, who had nearly choked himself to death holding his breath, let out a massive sigh of relief and added at last.

A full screen of question marks flooded in, and the comedic effect was absolute.

"Hold on, bro, what do you mean by that?" Exiting the game, Uzi finally processed what had happened, his face flushing red as he once again entertained the thought of hunting down the traitor on his team.

Lin Ruo's commentary just now felt like it was deliberately targeting him from start to finish.

Lin Ruo sighed deeply, exclaiming with a profound sense of regret: "Idol, I thought you could carry, so I couldn't help myself from commentating for you... But who could've known you..."

Uzi fell silent for a long while, utterly speechless. Biting his finger and rubbing his nearly deafened ears, he muttered, "Forget it, bro, I'm logging off. Let me buy some noise-canceling headphones another day before we play again."

Playing just a single game with Lin Ruo's booming voice had nearly cost him his life.